Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Better days ahead...

If you follow my blog then you probably know that I have been a bit injured lately.  I love blogging and I love running and I love talking about running!!!  But when you are injured, it makes it hard to want to blog about yourself.  You don't want to come off as a downer to others, especially since most people read blogs to be uplifted.

So lately, I have been doing a lot of giveaways, product reviews and pretty much anything to avoid talking about my current situation or talk the least possible on it.  In my hopes to keep my readers from getting bored:(
Well I started thinking about it, and figured it was time I wrote an honest post.  (Not that I am not always honest, but lets just say I have left out a lot, and even more when it comes to my feelings on it all!)

Besides, I'm thinking now it might be best to just put it out there:)  So let me start by saying.  The past few years running has been my life.  Pretty much everything I did involved running or lead to a race or something.  Every dollar I worked for, went to paying for races.  Spare hours were spent planning my travels, making my marathon trips even more of a great trip than just a great race.

Last fall I had a painful torn hip flexor injury that pulled me out of 1 race.  If you had asked me then, I would have told you that was the most devastating thing ever!!!
Previously, I had been working on my time, stepped up my training I was crushing my previous years marathon times by 30+ minutes..  So to have to pull out of one race that may have been a PR was like I said devastating!

Who knew that pulling out of one race, I would now look at and say, that is nothing!  As of this weekend, I have had to pull out of not one but a dozen marathons.  Which would have been in the states:  VA, NJ, WA, KS, IN, KY, OH, RI, ND, MI, OR, IO.
The good thing, this year I had this odd crazy plan to wait and register for the races more last minute, rather than months in advance like I have the past 2 years.  Thank Goodness for Crazy Ideas!!!!  That crazy idea saved me a lot of wasted money!

Okay, that brings me to now.  I posted a few weeks ago I was taking time off work to heal the tendinitis in my ankle.  Well this brilliant idea of course had to go bad too!  I wasn't 2 days into my time of work to heal.  When I had to go do just one morning on my feet (for a wedding thing I do for my business).
One tiny slip of the hand, and a heavy table came down (ever so gently, but of course it the exact wrong spot.)  Right down onto the top of my already injured foot.
YIKES IS RIGHT!  That exact moment, I didn't think too much of it.  But the next morning I woke up and couldn't walk at all, not even if I had to.

I was worried it was broke, or likely a stress fracture.  I was shooting for stress fracture and decided to save my hard earned cash and not go visit the Dr. immediately.
After all, I have had stress fractures in my other foot before, and there was nothing the Dr's could do for me.  They even gave me approval to run marathons on it if I was careful.
Well after a week in a half of not being able to put much pressure at all on it, I broke down and visited a Dr. had another X-Ray.. ($$$ there went the funds for a couple of races!)

End result, no break, no fracture.  Diagnosis: a badly inner bruised foot, in the arch area.  All that money, just to be told I am already doing everything exactly right and there is not much more they can do....  Stay off it, ice, Naproxin, compression, elevation... blah blah blah...

I had a lot of "woe is me" moments last week.  But I believe you have to think positive and have faith that it's all going to work out for the good.
I may not be able to catch a break lately, but I think my mind is back on the right track again. (maybe...)

I have been on crutches and my poor hands are super sore from going up and down the WAY TOO MANY steps in my house.  My hope is the tendinitis will heal, since my 2 weeks off work is now turning into a 3rd week off work.  My fingers are crossed that maybe next week things will be different for me!  No, they WILL be better!

I have my up's and downs like anyone else.  2011 and 2012 were full of so many highs and amazing things, it's been really hard for me to accept what I am going through.  Which is why I have been so hesitant to talk about it much.  
While I am expressing my frustrations, I might as well get the last one out. (So I don't have to bring it up again:)  Hopefully!)  

All these Dr. visits and unexpected expenses are a HUGE financial drain on all the funds I had so carefully saved to finish my marathon journey.  
Yes, I have health insurance.  But I am self employed, and have always been relatively healthy, one Dr visit a year, seemed hardly a bother to get an insurance plan different than had low premiums and a high deductible... Enough said on that:)
If I was cured from injury tomorrow, and could get back into shape quick.  My funds are now hardly what they are needed to finish even a 1/4th of my goal.  So one of the other things that has been on my minds, is how over the next 6 months to come up with the funds needed to replace all that was lost...

I am kind of one of those people that believe, if you want something you have to work hard for it, everything is possible and there is always a way.  I already work (when I work:) two jobs.  Not exactly sure how to fit a 3rd into the mix...  If only blogging paid really well (LOL)....
People say to me, well you don't have to finish the goal quickly, maybe you'll need to take a few more years to get it done..  My answer to that is, yes it's true I could.  But its a heck of a lot harder on your body to not race every other weekend, or every weekend.  Than to just race a few times a year, especially when you are running 40-60 miles a week... (Seriously!)
So I guess I just have some serious thinking and planning to do!  As well as healing!

I do value all of you who read my blog, I hope you will stick with me while I get through these rough times of injury!  Those of you who have been reading the past couple of years and following my 50 marathons in 50 states + D.C. journey, deserved to know all the details on why I am not talking about running races and training.  I am after all human:)  But the past few months, its been really hard for me to accept that, and that things can't just go back to how I want them to be!
So thank you again for following me, and hanging in there with me!!!  I love my little blogging world!  


8 comments :

  1. You shouldn't apologize! This is REAL and it's what's happening right here and now. It's part of the journey and although it's not pleasant, I know there are people reading it that will take a lot from it when/if they have an injury. I take real, honest posts over giveaways or product reviews any day! Hang in there!

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  2. Agree with Karen. No apology necessary! Thanks for sharing your story with us. When I was training for my first marathon, I got injured the WEEK before the race and never made it to the starting line. I was absolutely devastated. I ended up in PT for weeks with a nasty IT band issue. Looking back, that injury taught me so much about myself and overtraining! I'm amazed that you've run so many marathons, so close together. My body just can't handle that level of running! Sending lots of warm wishes your way for a speedy, FULL recovery.

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    1. Your right Nicole and thanks!!! Injuries really can teach us so much, I've already learned a lot! I didn't get either of these current ones from running (they were from working, which is why I think it's been harder, if I had been doing something I love like running to get them maybe it would lessen the sting:)Thanks for the wishes on the speedy recovery!

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  3. Hang in there girl. I know it must be SO hard but just know you have tons of support and I think your positive attitude is a perfect example of how to handle adversity. Thinking of you!!

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  4. No need to apologize. This is your space. I know its got to be difficult to not just delay your goals but have to deal with the money issues. You've got a great attitude though. Just keep at it.

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  5. Not being able to run has got to suck. But you gotta have hope. Just think if you continued you could have seriously injured yourself and then never be able to run again. I would hate that.
    I would rather not run for a bit knowing that one day soon, I could do it again.
    It's your health at stake, you need to take that into consideration too. You want to have long term gain, not short term know what I mean.
    And nothing to be sorry about, I think we all understand and feel for you.
    Stay strong girl, you have the spirit to get through this.

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  6. No need to apologize. You talk about something when you feel ready to and don't feel like you owe any of us an explanation. Praying for a speedy recovery and many injury free miles ahead!

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